A Tenth Anniversary Tribute

Today we celebrate 10 years of Marriage and as I consider my wedding vows 10 years ago, I affirm that I will still "love you and honor you all the days of my life." 

April 13th, 2003 I married Eric Rivera. The boy I spent 7 years dating, went through High School and College together and now... 4 moves, 3 kids, lots of school, 5 years in the Pastorate, the beginning of church planting, 10 years of marriage later...our love is still so vibrant. We have never been big on gift giving for our anniversaries as we both value quality time in celebration of more worth but today I want to Honor you as my husband and thank you publicly for the gift of a beautiful marriage to a godly man.  

10 things I LOVE about being married to

Eric Rivera:

1. Life is fun
Whether we’re reminiscing about our wedding day, the first day we met or our first year of marriage. We just enjoy life together and have lots of fun learning new things and growing together and just talking about what we are learning. We have fun whether it is just hanging out, snuggling, going for a walk, sipping coffee together... we genuinely enjoy one another and it makes life fun.

2. Being Best Friends
Since High School we've been best friends. It really is great to wake up next to someone I really, really like and who I know feels the same about me. 

3. Laughing
I don't laugh harder with anyone else. I love your silliness and all the joking and laughter that happens in our home on a regular basis. 

4. Being Friends with Benefits 
I wont say much publicly here but what I do want to acknowledge is that IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT. Thank you for honoring me and for protecting our purity by not awakening love until our wedding night. What we have is lovely and rare in our culture and only by God's grace. 

5. Dating is still exciting
I still get excited when we date. I'm thankful for the really thought out and planned dates and also for the nights when we intentionally talk over coffee or snuggle and watch a movie. I enjoy so much, intentional quality time with you. It doesn't get old.  Thanks for always keeping our dating fresh- you are really smooth Eric Rivera! 

6. Your leadership
Really, I will follow you anywhere because you have always lead our marriage with such humility and wisdom that I will go where you go for the rest of our lives. And that is why even on this crazy adventure of church planting, I go with you excited because I follow a man who is following the greatest King.

7. What kids did to our marriage
We sure did live it up when we were kidless: we went to quite a few bed and breakfasts, retreats, dates, missions trip etc. but I know we would both say that kids have been a wonderful addition to our marriage. Yes, adjusting was not super easy but parenting together has really strengthened us as teammates. I have enjoyed seeing you be a Papi and pour into our beautiful children. They are really blessed to have you. 

8. The thought of getting Old together
Even as we both have begun to sprout some silver sprinkles within our dark manes it attracts me even more to you. I've always said, you are going to be one fine old man and I am blessed to experience the aging process with you. I still can't believe that 10 years of marriage have gone by and that we have been together for 17 years! I imagine the next 10 will be even better. 

9. Being married to a hunk
I don't want to just gloss over this one. I am very attracted to you Eric Rivera and I'm glad your all mine! 

10. That it is easy
10 years being married and it has never been drudgery, difficult or stagnant. I'm glad we speak openly and truthfully but we don't fight. We know how to express our struggles and differences without allowing them to turn into anger. Thank you for your gentleness and for living with me in an understanding way. 

I only gave 10 to keep with the theme of our Anniversary. I could definitely keep going. Eric, I remember how bad I wanted you to propose to me and how on the night after our engagement I would wake up periodically making sure it was real and not just a dream. I loved you deeply then and I love you deeply now. It is interesting though how time can make love even more beautiful. 

Just another great memory from ten years ago: the blessing your brother pronounced over us. Eric Rivera, you truly are a "rare gem" and I'm so glad to be your wife Forever. 

To my Husband on his 31st Birthday

It is so difficult to know what to give to the man I love on his 31st Birthday. What do I give to the man who has given me so much, who has loved me so well and fathered our children so graciously? Really, what can I offer...

• For the man who comes in from a tiring day of work and plays with his kids but never before kissing me first and asking me about my day.

• For the man who surprises me by cleaning our shower, or organizing our cabinets, or emptying the dish washer, cleaning the kid’s toys and my favorite part is that he will leave these surprises for me to find rather than announce his work for recognition

• For the man who always takes care of our car needs (I often take this for granted but having him gone for 3 weeks in Africa made me realize how nice it is that he cares for these issues)

• For the man who will wake up extremely early to tend to his school work or sermon preparation rather than cut into his family time

• For the man who has made it a habit since we first were married almost 9 years ago to go to bed at the same time with me and has lead us in prayer every night (with the exception of a handful of times but even when he is away he makes it a priority to pray with me)

• For the man who looks upon my post pregnant body with such love and desire I forget all my insecurities

• For the man who has taught me about personal integrity from the moment I met him 16 years ago and continues to teach me

• For the man who would choose to make me his best friend and confidant and who actually really wants my opinion ( I love that you say you need me)

• For the man who plans dates with me even in the midst of busy work schedule and the demands of ministry

• For the man who watches the Notebook every anniversary with me and makes out with me during the steamy scenes

• For the man who faithfully goes to work every day and provides for our family

• For the man who rides his bike to work even in the winter in order to leave his family with access to the car

• For the man who has blessed his children already with a healthy view of marriage by the way he treats their mother with kindness and affection daily

• For the man who I still have the hots for after all these years 

• For the man who loves the Word of God and lives it out with integrity

• For the man who lives with me in an "understanding way" (1 Peter 3:7) and has heaped blessing upon our family because his prayers have not been hindered

• For the man who has lead our family in nightly devotions for the past 3 and a half years

• For the man who brings me coffee each morning as I sit in my chair to meet with the Lord

• For the man who has never spoken a harsh word to me or my children (wow, even as I write this one I know I am few among women to be able to say such about their husbands- thank you my love)

• For the man who will get out of our warm bed to put clothes in the dryer that I have forgotten about

• For the man who prays with our children every night (what a gift you are giving them!)

• For the man who plays pretend with his kids pretty much whenever they ask (which is often I know)

• For the man who just knows me inside out and can know with a glance when I need to talk

• For the man who makes wise decisions about our finances and has always sought to honor God first (what blessing we have received living so simply) 

• For the man who has never lied to me 

• For the man who protected our purity in our dating relationship and never put his hands on me until our wedding night (I can never thank you enough nor express how secure it makes me feel in our marriage)

• For the man who continues to protect our marriage and honor the Lord and myself by being intentional about what he allows before his eyes (what a fear of the Lord and honor for me you have)

• For the man whom I can say all these things about and so much more

 I love you Eric Rivera and I often can't believe how lucky I am to be your girl (I've always felt that way). I am so grateful for you and know how blessed I am to be your wife and the mother of your children. I know what I will give you and will continue to give you for the rest of your years. I will give you my respect and I will be your helpmate all our days. I am your ezzer. I will speak well of you all the days of your life and seek to "do you good and not evil all the days of my life". I will work hard for you and our family. I will always respect you. Thank you for being easy to respect and love and adore. I will be like one of Sarah's children (1 Peter 3:6) for you are my lord, not because you are my god but because God is my God and I submit myself to Him first and you second without any fear. I love you baby!


As a side note: I will also give you running shoes just because I know you need them and it will encourage your love for running and staying in shape. 

Barreness and Waiting

Have you ever desired something so much but had absolutely no control over your attaining of it? What do you do with dreams that are crushed or not fulfilled? This is a portion of my testimony about a few years in my life and my choice to believe God's best for me in the midst of waiting, the pain of a miscarriage, more waiting and the unknowness of my future.

Growing up I was told God is so good

And I believed it as I should

or so I thought

Really, I bought Satan's lie

Let me explain why

There came a time in my life when I felt alone- almost like no one could relate to my moan

You see, I struggled with infertility and was upset with God for my lack of ability to conceive

I often wished the desire would just leave but

I wanted to achieve a child just like Sarah, Rebecca and Hannah

I desperately wished that God would provide a child like manna from heaven

Seven out of seven days I would think of ways I could love a child

wild, I never imagined this in my life

that wanting a child would bring such strife

I thought God, I am a good wife!

Haven’t I given you my life?

Why can't I be a mother 
And yet another month would go by and I would be stuck again with the question

why?

Why would God give me such a desire and not fulfill it

How long Oh, Lord

How long will it be

How long will you forget me

Lord I don’t want to make the mistake and forsake what I know to be true

That YOU are good and would only ordain what is best for me

Oh, God but this is such a test for me

It is hard to see those around me have what I want

It almost feels like it’s a flaunt

I relate so much to Hannah who was jealous of Peninnah

I’ma woman who seeks to love you with all my heart

But my emotions were tearing me apart

Often I would come before you and implore you to help me understand

Then I heard you answer... 
And it went to my core like cancer

You want me to be content not hell bent on what I want

That I would place my hope in you and believe that your Word is true when it says

You are good

I just wished I understood…but that is just the point

Faith is believing without seeing and I had to come to a place where I could embrace whatever it was you had for me- and stop feeling so bad for me

Because if in your plan you decide not to give me a child I will refuse to be beguiled to think that you don’t want what is best for me

I will rest in the fact that you are sovereign and I am not
 

Help me to be so caught in my relationship with you that every other desire could be burned in a fire for all I care-

How dare I question you?

Have you ever fought with the Lord regarding unanswered prayer

Layer after layer of hardness builds as you know God is choosing not to wield his power to come through

true- you know He has a plan but you just can't stand the wait

Really you ask what is my fate

What do you hope in when you can’t see God’s plan...

Know that you too have a promised land
God's ways for you are GRAND

And you can confidently say- “All other ground is sinking sand”

Habakkuk 3:17-19

¹⁷ Though the fig tree does not bud
       and there are no grapes on the vines,
       though the olive crop fails
       and the fields produce no food,
       though there are no sheep in the pen
       and no cattle in the stalls,
 ¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
       I will be joyful in God my Savior.
 ¹⁹ The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
       he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
       he enables me to go on the heights.

Why Blog?

 I have titled my blog- NapTime Nuggets because as a stay at home mom- naptime is really my only sanctuary. What "nuggets" might I share? Well, I've subtitled this: Mothering, Ministry and My Mary and Martha Struggle. I think those three topics pretty much sum up my life right now.

I will be sharing with you my journey as a young mom of two small children and how I view my job as a mother as my ultimate ministry- not that my children are my ALL or define who I am but I have a high view of the impact I can and should have on my children and thus choose to parent in a way that reveals who I really love and serve. I really love and serve the Lord Jesus Christ- when I say He is my Lord and Master, that is what I mean- I am under His Lordship and authority and my desire is that it would be evident to all who see me.

The second M is Ministry and this has to do with my life as a Pastor's Wife and my ministry to women. I am so passionate to see women find their joy and dreams fulfilled in the Only One who can really fill them- Christ. I love to help women understand the Scriptures and find the freedom they long.

Lastly, this has to do with my personal struggle of learning to serve like Martha yet not neglecting the "better thing" of sitting at Jesus' feet like Mary. I so want a heart of worship like Mary but I also want to serve the Lord well like Martha. Such a battle to learn the right combination of these two.